These sayings piss me off because they either make no sense or it would be better if said directly. I'll continue to add to this from time to time, here's a couple that are on my mind right now:
"Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining"
"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer"
"More than you can shake a stick at"
"It's not a mistake if you learn from it"
"live every day as if it's your last"
"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"
"Don't beat around the bush"
"Hold your horses"